customer outrage at the cafe of love over new cop17 menu…Posted: November 1, 2011
dear unborn green child ,
ahh son/daughter im about to cause shit in our community, you see Jag the planets in a spot of poo and your dad is sitting on the side lines….ive got this “green cafe” that is`nt really making waves and causing enough shit. so your pops is about to take a risk, and a big risk at that……wait for it, the corner cafe will be meat free for the 14 days of cop17.
i know its risky and i may loose a few customers in the process, but slap my tits if it dont make a statement. albert einstein said “Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances of survival for life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.” now i dont know much about this oke except that he won a nobel prize in 1921 so he must have had a matric and that makes him pretty smart in my book.ive found this company, local dah, called “frys” its a happy little veggie family who have changed my eating habbits. you see ive been a vegaterian for 43 days today….thank you, thank you very much. and i feel great but im not out to convert the world like some seventh day eventist guy who walks up to your table and tell you to lay off meat or satans gonna get you, infact i think satan would rather you ate meat, he would like animals to die for our pleasure. im not saying i wont ever eat meat again its just that some dude from wessa asked me to watch this movie called “earthlings” ive watched rocky 3 four times but this movie was even harder to sit through, my eyes are open to the light (joking i just threw that in because of the whole seventh day eventist thing) i will eat meat again…someday but it will have to come from like “hope meats” in richmond where the animals had a happy life and an unaware death, lets not forget the lack of hormones or antibiotics etc but we wouldnt have those insisor teeth if we werent supposed to eat meat, its just that weve become american in our approach to meat….we need it in every meal.
so today marks the 27th day before cop17, for the entire conference we will not be serving meat and yet we will have burgers, spaghetti bolognaise, chicken wraps,bangers & mash, chorico pizza and all with this “frys” stuff, its soya but not the shitty card boardy kuk they try to slap on our plates (we veggies are treated like poo when we eat out)(check how i say “we”cause im on their side now).
id also like to offer a prize of free coffee for life(thats as long as someone lives on the earth) to someone who comes up with a very clever way to help earth during this conference…..ill start the ball rolling, i, Juddy poo Campbell, will walk or ride my bike to work everyday during the cop17. its 7km and im fat, anyone who sees me driving in a car to work during this time will automatically get free coffee for life and one fairy cake. surely someone out there can out do me…………
so write in and ill put the best ones up on the blog and you guys can vote for whoever you think has the better idea, i wont break my promise, free coffee for life (life is a really long time folks) come folks the whole fucking world is watching durban, do something out of your comfort zone.
yours in planet saving joy and love