pat lambie walks into a cafe and the waiter says….

dear unborn kid,

by the time you read this pat lambie would have captained the springbok, won a world cup and a tri nations and retired.

as he walked in i yesterday i didnt quite recognise him (thought it might be some waiter id fired or one of our regulars sons or some shit), when i did relise it was number 15 i went into that silly mode and was like trying to suck up to him and be all matey matey, the okes like 20 years old.

he was with conrad hoffman , and they both are like perfect gentlemen (if you are a girl, we find out only in 2 more weeks, then id let you date one of these guys) strong hand shake, good eye contact and no fowl language, fuck me. lambie wouldnt even say anything bad about bryce lawrence, and we all know he is a giant poo poo face.

he said i could play for south africa

they shared the gnocchi and a pizza (they had training at 2:30) i gave them some of the wifes special homemade apple crumble on the house, and said it was for dropping that huge samoan freak, and we all laughed and now we are best friends, the end.

if you are a boy Jag and decide to play rugby then i hope you turn out like this guy.


p.s. bryce lawrence i hope you get your whistle caught in the gears of a combine harvester you monkey




7 Comments on “pat lambie walks into a cafe and the waiter says….”

  1. Kim says:

    Come on! Gutted you didn’t contact your favourite female rugby buddy and tell me to find a reason to happen to be @Cnr!

    Juddy-POO indeed..!


    PS. How awesome though, hey!?!?!

  2. ewok says:

    Did he like the Graffiti? DID HE LIKE THE GRAFFITI? Oh my god. Pat Lambie was on OUR street! GoddamitIloveGlenwood. Next time trap him in the laundry room so we can all come and look at him.

    p.s. India is beyond kiff.
    p.s.s. we miss you guys
    p.s.s.s. COP 17!!!

  3. angela says:

    shmaak his shoes!….Not

  4. Renee says:

    What an honour!! I still turn red with embrassment everytime I think of the day John Smit filled my showroom day way… crap I could`nt even remember the mans name for crying in a bucket… felt like a total idiot!

  5. michele says:

    cannot actually believe you didnt phone me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! huh!!!

  6. Amy says:


  7. villy vill check says:

    What?? How?? Why are they not in NZ… oh wait… oh… yes… they lost to my team…