be my valentine durbs…ek is lank lief vir jou, ne.

this bloody thing (get it) cant even stop for 1min in our average 70 year life

dear love bunnys,

if you are in love at the moment, well done & dont stuff it up. to find someone in this world that is your perfect match is as rare as rocking horse poo. its so easy to slack off, sometimes i just dont wear sexy underwear for days, we become complacent, we relax too much, we as lions have caught our zebra and feel we can now get fat, stop feeding the dogs or pee on the toilet seat…i say no, keep it exciting and stay focused. sure it may dawn on you that you will never be with another person ever again, and i know how that hurts, but hey it could be worse…you could have no-one.

if you are alone this valetines day, well hell im sorry. it may not be you, dont beat yourself up…you as the lion have still to chase and bring down your zebra, the differance is you get one more chance (at least one) to feel the thrill of the hunt, that eccelarated heart rate as you bump into someone cute at the race course whilst riding your bike (hard) ahh that nervousness, the fumbling over words, the first kiss when you knock teeth so hard and you both pretend it never happenend…and you honestly just dont give a shit whos watching, just like that first kiss in “pump up the volume” when christian slater and samantha mathis kiss….thats a kiss. so shut up and get your lip off the ground you lucky bastard.

if you are one of those who got dumped just days before valentines…well hell, that person basically just didnt want to spend the money on dinner, they felt you were not worth it…which, although it stings like a kick in the kidneys, is a good thing. do you wanna be with someone who doesnt feel you are worth it, hell no. now read paragraph 2 again.

and if youve just met someone, you know who you are. put fun first, start with honesty…tell them you have a problem with dstv, before they find out from a friend, tell them its rugby season and nothing will get in the way, these are things that will only strengthen a relationship.

im going to cafe 1999 (big surprise hey, i booked last year for this year), im going to roll around in a tray of oyters and drink champagne i cant really afford and tip well regardless.

may you all have a great valentines day, spare a thought for the planet i.e. dont buy her/him chocolates from peru or lingerie from spain ( i found a lovely pair of open front undies made in capetown) love the planet like you love your partner, and if you’re single, love the planet more you poor thing.


p.s. in high school once i got a valetines day card from an afrikaans girl that said “my hart is nie die enegeste ding wat pomp” wonder where she is now hey

ahhh, young love


One Comment on “be my valentine durbs…ek is lank lief vir jou, ne.”

  1. ewok says:

    Just read this. You are my valentines Hero. Thank you for spraying yoghurt on the heart of the world.