Dear Santa, (you fantastic chubby man you)

Its just 25 days left until you get here and I can tell you honestly that Durban is so bloody excited and ive even seen a few people with wet pants in anticipation.

Id like you to know that the cafe is closed when you get here but that ill leave a key under the mat and you know the alarm code. Also this year ill leave some Gnocchi out for the reindeer, I know how Jumper and Thumper love that stuff, but as we discussed I can’t leave out any beers this year after what happened last year. Mrs Pechham (82 years of age) form 21 A Manning road, is still in shock at recieveing here Neighbours raunchy/kinky leather cat suit, mistakes like that can hurt forever.

Also please could you add a tin of  “Judd Coffee” to all my regulars who come to the cafe more than 4 times a week.

Otherwise how’s the wife, I must come once the silly season is over, my wife would love to meet the elves. I’ve been promising for years now but its high time I popped up. Lets aim for the 28th December, could you send the sled again if I confirm times?

Heres to a great season my old friend, ho ho ho (and I don’t mean in the prostitute sense).


Santa I better get the things I want or ill make this public

Your good little boy for the 34 year in a row



One Comment on “Dear Santa, (you fantastic chubby man you)”

  1. ewok says:

    Jumper and Thumper? I know someone who is getting Rudolph flavored reindeer nuggets in their stocking this year. Jumper and Thumper. Sheeeeesh. There you go again, revealing your inner Disney fetish.