A stupid lady walks into a cafe, and the waiter says “oh my hat”Posted: November 16, 2010
yesterday was great until this lady came in all negative and such. when youve failed matric and have been forced to waiter for 17years cause no-one wants you, you pic up certain skills. i cant balance a cheque book or tune in a t.v. but i can spot a problem customer from 30 paces.
so picture it, 3pm monday arvie, cafe is in full swing. a few cute students scattered around eating into my wi fi, the lovey dovey couple who cant leave each other alone and the ever present book worm (every cafe has one). in walks this american, you can tell she is american before she speaks, they have this americanism thing about them. genrally i like americans they are happy people who tip well….genrally. anywho so this lady walks in with her lip on the ground, sits down and looks around as if she has been waiting for days. i walk over.
“Afternoon maam, can i get you drink” i say as i hand her a menu.
“no, im in a hurry, can i get a decaff skinny cappacino, it must be skinny” ?????” with an ultra bad attitude like ive wronged her in another life. “please hurry im in a rush” she says in a high pitched american accent that could break a chapagne flute.
when the coffee arives she says “where is the sweetners?’ every part of me wants to say “in the cupboard where they live” but i slip away angry and return with her sweetners, no thank you or naything like that just a huff like a dragon that has no more flames. im used to working for no thank you`s but this lady was the epitome of all things moody. then out of the blue she says thestupidiest thing ive ever heard from a low fat, sweetner induced coffee drinker, she asks for a double chocolate brownie.
i think some one who does this is only lying to themselves, what goes on in someones head that thinks having sweetner in there low fat coffee will help them lose weight even if they wash it down with a brownie.
but the thing that really got me was the fact that she just sat there after claiming to be in such a hurry, she stayed for over an hour hogging a four seater and reading the paper….why insist on speedy service if you are just going to sit there you silly little women.
ahhhhhh, i feel better, thanx for listening diary.