So I was chatting to my mate Mike Sutcliffe the other day…..

 

Hows that chick pickpocketing Madiba's wallet?!

Love em or hate em…we interview him. This is not a political blog our concern is for the planet and its chicks (joking its mainly about the chicks) I don’t really give a shit about road names and A.N.C. or corrupt policemen all that is just silly and every country has these problems. I’m a shallow guy who only really cares about things that directly affect me i.e. The planet getting to hot for me to walk around barefoot. So until Mike Sutcliffe starts restricting how much DSTV I can watch or pumping bad things into the enviroment, he is ok in my book and we are both trying to loose weight so we are united against a common enemy FOOD.

Ladies and gentlemen in the past ive pretended to interview people and just made up their answers on my fake questions…but oh no not this time my chinas…boom this actually happened.

the dude on the far left is squeesing her majubies

 

Juddy Poo: how do you take your coffee?
Mikey Poo: Hot, with milk, no sugar, strong, but good company makes it go down well.

Juddy Poo: everyone is talking about the quality of water coming into eThekweni, how closely are you working with “upstream” municipalities?
Mikey Poo: In the end it is about bringing sanitation and housing/water/electricity to all that will make a difference.  Over 200000 families in eThekwini are still without sanitation and if you add this to the rest of the people living in the Umgeni valley you realise that we still have major challenges.  We are working with Umgeni water and have a number of projects with corridor municipalities, but in the end we have to ensure all get access to decent housing.

its all fun and games until someone gets hurt

Juddy Poo: have you heard of “kumi the bear” the new super hero bear that does not tolerate environmental crime?
Mikey Poo: Yes I have, I think. Isn’t he a animated polar bear who goes around showing people how to cut down on waste and energy consumption.

Juddy Poo: what do you personally do for the planet ie grow herbs, recycle etc?
Mikey Poo: Live in a flat and grow some herbs. Trying out vegetable growing (such as tomatoes and will be getting mushrooms soon) in bags.  Now taking up cycling and do recycle all my papers, glass, plastic, etc. Trying to hand back 15 kilogrammes of fat on my body to reduce my own ecological footprint!
(folks dont stress I allready double checked and its not magic mushies)

Juddy Poo: what is eThekweni doing to help the planet?
Mikey Poo: We have agricultural programmes to try and address food security, from growing vegetables at City Hall and in public spaces, through to Green Rooftop programmes, agriecology, soya, goat farming, mushroom farming and the like.  Over 800 community gardens being supported. We are rolling out rainwater harvesting systems in poor areas.  About to launch a solar water heater system where we are aiming to install 34000 heaters in households at no cost to residents.  Climate change programmes (mitigation and adaptation) regarded as world best practice.

evita couldnt believe the size of Mikes prick

Juddy Poo: I see you most Sunday mornings on the new promenade (nice by the way) do you think I’ve lost weight over the last few months?
Mikey Poo: Yes, the competition is on!

Juddy Poo: are you leaving for Canada, or is that just silly rumors?
Mikey Poo: Can’t keep anything quiet these days.  I have decided instead to stay so that I can keep annoying the hell out of the racist fascists that don’t like me and who spread such rumours!

Juddy Poo: give us a little info on the city that my readers wont know.
Mikey Poo: We have developed clear long-term plans (20-70 years) and ensured that we have stuck to them.  These include long-term strategies to deal with (i) eventing beyond 2010, (ii) climate change, (iii) Food security, (iv) energy and water, (v) housing for all, (vi) Integrated public transport, (vii) Electronic connectivity, (viii) Growing logistics, manufacturing and tourism.  We have also to deal with the fact that over one-third of our residents are indigent.  And so we provide Free Basic Services of 9KL Water to over 300000 households, free electricity to over 70000 households and free property rates to over 200000 poor househoilds.  Last year alone we spent R5.6 billion on capital – it was the highest spend in the country and we have the biggest infrastructural programme in the country.  We have created an institution (Municipal Institute for Learning – MILE) to ensure we build our knowledge base, provide master classes and develop our staff.  Our average debtors collection rate presently stands at 96,2% which is one of the highest rates in the world. We have zero tolerance for fraud and corruption and are finding ways to root out corrupt elements.

Mr burns, from the simpsons

Juddy Poo: oh, ja, I’ve been dying to ask you this…should we be giving money to those street beggars at the traffic lights.
Mikey Poo: Definitely not.  Most are a modern slave industry with children being farmed out to get money.

Juddy Poo: can you change the street name that my cafe is on from “brand road” to “corner cafe road”, ill give you free coffee for life?
Mikey Poo: Working on it.  The Central Committee discussed the proposal and felt that “Limp Wristed Lefty Cul de Sac” was more appropriate.  But I have asked for a review.

 

 

 

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7 Comments on “So I was chatting to my mate Mike Sutcliffe the other day…..”

  1. bukwilde says:

    poooooh you such a slut!

  2. Glenn Harpur says:

    Mike’s funnier than I though he was!

  3. Nicely done mate by the way you do look like you’ve lost some weight around the abdomal region. Do I get free coffee for saying that?

  4. Anne says:

    The photo of Mike with Evita looks like your father-in-law????

  5. Anne says:

    Well done Juddy Poo – bloody marvelous stuff.

  6. Kerry says:

    Ps, Juddy poo I can see a tv show coming for you

  7. Kerry says:

    That is bloody hilarious