Jance Armstrong, sets a personal best time.Posted: October 18, 2010
Sorry folks there is no voting poll today, because i did the Ama shova shova. I was too tired to think up funny shit to vote on. Let me tell you what happened…
Sean , of cafe 99 fame, phoned me on Thursday with fear in his voice.
“what you doing sunday bru” he said, trembling.
“ the beach i” said instinctively, but he knew i had no plans
“I’m on my way over, make me a macciato” he barked. I was scared and happy. Scared cause i was going to be talked into something for sure , and happy cause it was 2pm and if he was coming over then his shop wasnt as busy as mine.
On arriving he told me that he had entered me into the ama shova shova, its a grueling 38km (partial downhill) cycling event, that tests a man to his limits. Cut a long story short i said yes and he fetched me at 4:45 am on sunday (dark and cold).
Picture it, Hillcrest high school, thick mist, faint whine of the bagpipes off in the distance (ok, there was no bagpipes) and the cool wind tore through my tight little cycling shorts. I was nervous until i saw children, hundreds of the little buggers, on bmx`s and bikes with tassles coming out the handle bars, i was going to beat atleast 50 of them. My nerves calmed, the sun came up and i rode like lance armstrong through the alps on ecstasy (strong exctasy, not like that stuff we got in the late 90`s). coming down fields hill after heavy rain the night before was sheer bliss, the road was ours and we were kings, when i came past sean (due to my stomach and the excess fat i had an advantage on the down hills) he shouted “we are going 62km/h” i reckon i was going faster because i was going past him, but he reeled me in on the up hills.
The mosses madiba staduim has never looked that good, it seemed to sing like Celine Dion as we got closer. We crossed the finish line in 1 hour and 30mins flat. Sean couldve cycled home but i needed to be airlifted to a safe place of rest. My legs still hurt, i have a deep deep burn in all my muscles but i should be walking by the end of the week.
Please be patient i’ll have more gripping, intellectually stimulating news very soon.