I was a racist bastard last week…

In a nutshell, the wife and i did this wedding a few months back, great couple. They loved the wife’s catering so we went for dinner when they got back from honeymoon. Chat chat, blah blah. Richard says he and this guy sthembiso are starting a tour business (my first thought…its been done bru)..

so i offer the back wall of the cafe to him to paint his logo and website, and bobs your uncle some big wig travel writer comes for an award winning coffee and the rest is history…so richard and sthembiso say “thanks” buy giving me and 7 mates a free tour…i say “lank kiff”, they say “what u want do and see” and i say “surprise us”

What follows folks is a compressed version (like zip files, hey 2slice?!) a lot more happened that i cannot talk about on this open forum blog thingy.

 

Early start at City Zen

 

9’30 am- we meet the fun bus at City Zen, great macciatto`s, a bit unsure, still waking up, happy the sharks won.

 

A little cbd cpr

 

we cruise around the cbd (i havent been in the cbd since moses played fullback for the egyptians). these tour guides had non of the usual boring touristy facts…it was all cool stuff like did you know that Shaka actually gave durban to the white settlers(guess they didn’t surf back then)

 

Little Gujarat

 

 

The Little Gujarat, ive lived in this town for 34 years, i pride myself on knowing everyone and everything thats happening…no-one told me about this place in the middle of town its amazing, we all looked at each other as we ate puri patha and samoosa`s, its sad to think some tourist is landing in this country and may not eat this food. (and if you live here go now, you can read the rest when you get back).

ghandi was a real guy, not just a great movie that won 8 oscars in 1982. I, judd campbell, and our group of merry men actually went into his house, very cool (but no dstv, sad hey, he preached non violence and free dstv for all) a truly great man who had even less clothes than my dad.

 

permanent residence in a cave- no jokes.

 

ive purposely not shown pics of the posse that went into the “rusta cave of weed.” Its a family of 8 who live in a cave in place celled Zion. I can’t say too much about what happened in the cave except that one of our party saw an old iron in one of the rough brick rooms and said ‘there’s the iron in Zion” well we laughed for a full 20mins (i smoked some pot but i didn’t inhale)

 

the "i-on" in "zi-on"

 

 

"Yebo, it's true! Mine is THIS big"

 

lunch was surreal to say the least,in this picture 2slice is making friends with the locals, we had to drag him from ever stop we made. At this butchery/tavern/shabeen there was a plasma on every wall and there must have been over a hundred people( i was scared, but played it cool) i felt a little tense until some guy (drunk, started monkeying around us) before i could say “oh my hat we are going to be killed” two guys appeared from nowhere and escorted him to the door. It was like something out of a james bond movie, the poor guy (now i felt sorry for him) left a full six pack on our table, we dived in like thirsty horses…nahh nahh(horse noises). After that i felt silly for being scared and left my wife to walk around unattended, the irony was that we were as safe there as we where in our own house.

 

That's how we roll

 

the food was simple-meat, pap, fresh chili`s and some kind of bean thing. It was delicious (but that couldve just been the weed) we sat in that tavern for hours, just chilling and drinking(we got well sloshed) it really was hard to leave, my house in morningside may have only been 15 km away but we were really in another world, its hard for me to explain this day….you really must try it, and please don’t let a tourist come into our country without seeing this side of it.

We may have the highest crime rate on earth and aids is killed more

 

Ah, good times, good times! (or just 'GT' if you're down like us. Word!)

 

people than smallpox but we have something very special here(ahh that sounded really soppy).

Please don’t ask me about the Rastafarian village, what happens in the cave stays in the cave.

You got to do this folks if for no other reason then those yummy samoosas- www.streetscenetours.co.za– check it out!

Juddy-kwa-mashu-loving-poo

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3 Comments on “I was a racist bastard last week…”

  1. Steltjie says:

    I want to go on one of these tours!!! It looks freakin’ rad!… Now to find a posse to join me…hmmm…

  2. shanna jones says:

    firkin hilarious brother macguire .. can’t wait to see you – next wed yeah .. ciao xxx

  3. ewok says:

    Tourists yeah, but I reckon SA peeps, especially Durbanites, would get the biggest kick out of this tour. This shit should replace the Booze Cruise or the Ricksha bus or all of them standard played out practices people blow thick dough on when it comes to Birthdays and all of that. Go Go Gadget Street Scene Tours!!!