I cheated on my wife last night and it was fantastic

This is what my wife has done to her hair

Yesterday the wife went to B Scene and had her hair done just like kate moss on the cover of august`s elle mag, it was amazing, so much so that i took her out to harveys for a few cocktails(i had the martini, judd bond) and then down to spice for dinner. to say the wife is a completely different person is an understatement. so much so that the other customers thought “that bastard is cheating on his wife, the fat piglet” one even walked past on the way to the toilet at spice and said “arsehole” just loud enough to get my attention. i loved it, and the trout starter.

oh oh ive got two surprises for you. one Nev the Barber has opened here at the cafe SURPRISE. yesterday i had a double esspresso (coffee is great here hey) a smoothie and a haircut while watching CNN all before 6:45am. now thats a cafe folks.yes he has green and eco friendly products dah.
secondly, we now have jazz every sat between 12 and 3pm SURPRISE, its a double bonus this sat because we are having a Bonnie & Clyde open day here(reinvented and recycled clothes, very nice)

also just a little sorry to the folks we turned away here last week, it was stupid busy every single day last week and i know some of you travelled far (morningside etc) but its better than you waiting like 20mins for a cappaccino, please dont hate me.(we even bounced our accountant, but hey hes an accountant)

what else ummm, oh we are hiring 2 more chef girls to help with our ready meals,they start once they have been through the S.E.A.L training and pass my questionaire i.e. questions like “have u ever slapped ur boss” or “if an alien ship came down and you could only take 3 people with u who would u take, and no animals, family or denzel washington”
you all seem to like the lasagne, cottage pie, currys etc but we are also introducing a range of wheat free options for those difficult folks out there (you know who u are).

got dinner at Aubergine tomorow (only because the sharks game aint on telly, who actually decides what games are aired, id like a chat with him, its more than likely an angry wife who is just finding out that its only half way through rugby season) so i will report back afterwards with all the gossip.

i love u and your money
juddy poo poo